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Understanding People


Usually we divide people in various categories introvert, extrovert, funny, sarcastic, easy going, shy etc.
Then  we choose whether we have the same frequency with them or not using our intuition. Sometimes its hard to understand why we get along with people who are so different from us.

I would not call myself a  people's person because i am definitely not . In my school/college i have been a shy person who concentrated on studies mostly. But as i grew up i now know my self as an introvert who knows with  whom i want to open up to. As a shy person is not confident enough to enjoy things they like  when surrounded by people, i have stopped calling myself shy.

Its very difficult to understand people like parents can't understand their children and vice versa, husbands can't understand their wives, bosses can't understand their employees , trump can't understand china(this one is joke , no one can understand their eating habits) and so on. 

If  we try to understand people as individuals, what they want ,what is bothering them and behave with them accordingly, I believe the world can become a better place to live in because once we understand why someone is behaving that way we can help them , instead of judging them  and being bothered about their behavior.
If you dive deeply you can think of this as a domino effect. Just like positive vibes spread, negativity also spreads . So you can play a part of a buffer and break the chain by not letting it go forward.

I just watched Sushant Singh Rajput's last movie "Dil bechara" , it felt very good to see him and the fact that we are seeing him for the last time on screen makes it  grieving. I was not his fan but i acknowledged him as a great actor and above that a self made person, but after his death i have watched his interviews on youtube and i find him very childlike,honest,curious,intelligent,spiritual,kind and introverted. He was too good a person to leave this world so soon.
He had many hi/bye friends out there but no one  to share the pain. I can see in his last movie that he was not enjoying acting which was his passion previously. I have watched him in Kai po che, MS dhoni, Chhichore and his energy was infectious.

I still can't understand what made him do what he did if we keep aside the controversy theories. After his death his fans have showered their love to him by making "Dil bechara" the highest ranking indian movie at  imdb.
But i think if someone has helped him previously then may be he would have been alive.
His story reminds me of a fictional character Hannah baker from a popular series "13 Reasons why".



If someone would have told him that he is important for them, if someone would have just hugged him tight when he felt low , if someone would have praised his talent and gave him opportunities, if someone would have forgiven him for his wrong decisions , there is a possibility that things would have been different.
But instead of thinking about what's gone , we should introspect ourselves .
If we look around we may find a sushant around us, we can change ourselves to make this world better by understanding , helping him , let him know that its okay not to be okay, make people aware about mental health instead of thinking it as a topic better not be discussed since we are not comfortable and giving inner happiness a priority.

This incident has changed my perspective on dealing with people.I have understood the importance of honest compliments,to cheer someone up  when they are feeling low , to be less self centered and be more kind. I will try to practice this from now.

I think even if we are successful in taking care of our inner circle and people around us who have this vibes that something has changed them , then we can make a better  impact rather than posting a "Talk to me when you are low" status for 1000 people out there.

"Three Questions" a story by Leo Tolstoy which i had read in childhood, now makes more sense to me with respect to the 2nd & 3rd question when it comes to others and 1st question when it comes to myself.
If you had not read it then here are the three questions with their answers.

1. What is the most important time?
Present (Not past , not future)
Depression happens when we are living in past and anxiety  happens when we are worried about the future.

2. Who is the most important person?
The person you are with at the moment

3. What is the most important work?
To do that person good, because this is the purpose we are sent into this life.



Thanks for Reading !!
Be kind to people around you and understand them ....
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